i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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