I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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