Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize