quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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