i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
