Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
