Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my being single is dangerous.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
