Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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