I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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