Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
