just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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