So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
