Nicole vs. Life
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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