It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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