Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize