I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
