Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
