Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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