apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
