oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
