I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Randomize
