No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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