If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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