Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
