They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
