i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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