why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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