I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
