you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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