I feel great
I just peed on a car
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
