Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
