just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize