Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
