Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
