i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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