you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
