YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
