Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
