Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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