how can u be prego again
your room smells of hookers.
And success
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
