when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
