Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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