wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
