The maid of honor just puked.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
