Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
