after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
