The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just want to make out with him forever
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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