I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
