its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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