just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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