Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
