So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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