It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
