Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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