Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
