Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize