He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
