In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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