beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
