Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
