I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
