Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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