So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
