I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
