we have officially mastered the walk of shame
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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