Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize