Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
