And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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